Another Migraine…

Posted on March 1, 2012 by swneyes

I had another migraine yesterday.  My husband said that they often come  in pairs, a week or two apart.  This one was about a week and a day apart.  Despite that, I got a little bit of busywork done.  I’m preparing for the Litfest by coming up with questions that I believe I may get asked.  I don’t live in Southern California anymore, but most of my life was spent there, so of course it has influenced my writing and my work as a whole.

Rejections: I’ve gotten several.  Two pretty bad ones from Tin House and Indiana Review for an essay titled, “Exhumation.”  I know it is not a bad essay.  I know it did not deserve that kind of rejection, but it’s really true what they say–it’s so subjective.  Case in point, I received a rejection from Open Spaces Quarterly for another essay and was told that it was really good, and had I tried Tin House or Glimmer Train?  Yes, I have, countless times that I have run out of stories to submit.  Maybe they are looking for names–not stories.  I also received another rejection from Slice. I have not resubmitted to any of these places yet.  I want to re-evaluate my work.  Has it reached that level yet?  Or is it truly just subjective, and what I write will NEVER get in there?

It has been almost two weeks since I have worked on Amit’s Ability.  It makes me sad, but a friend who knows what I’m going through told me that I need to be gentle with myself.  Along with the migraines, I am going through some health issues (without getting too personal), which have left me fatigued and winded.  I am told things will improve in a few weeks.  As my symptoms abate, I am hoping to return to my writing and finish the novel.  I also owe Aqueous Books some publicity materials for my short story collection. Right now, my focus is to stay on top of my email, update my blog, and maintain my commitments (signings/readings) without falling into deep water.  More on this specific topic later…

Growing up in a very strong Indian household, I was raised with die-hard work ethics and a lust for perfection.  I struggle with rejections and setbacks like anyone else, perhaps even more deeply than most because of my background.  My siblings are accomplished individuals; I was the youngest, and often compared to the older ones and was told that I never measured up.  This unfortunate principle underlies most everything I do, and it has been a process from childhood of undoing this mental damage.  Working hard can be great, and you achieve a lot, but when you face obstacles/challenges, it is much better to deal with them positively then to deal with them negatively by berating yourself.  It only stifles the creative process.  It hurts the soul.

So the last month has been a real eye-opener for me.  I had not realized how much I put myself down when I don’t get things done in the way that I would like, and I need to stop that.  I need to focus on what I can do, what I have already done, and when I feel better, what I am able to do.  Life is too short to mistreat yourself.

So for now, instead of worrying that I am going to turn this computer off and not do any more work today, I am going to focus on spending some time meditating, thinking warm thoughts, and infusing myself with positive energy.  And watch some mindless TV.

 

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Preparing for the Pasadena Litfest

Posted on February 26, 2012 by swneyes

Details about my panel at the Pasadena Litfest are now available:

Panel: The Broader Canvas
With Annam Manthiram, Caroline Allen, Susan Straight, Nina Revoyr, Colin Dickey, Alice Bag, and Bernard Runstacirun
This panel speaks to the tremendous diversity of literary concerns and subject matter of writers in the greater Southern California region (as well as the fact that the panelists like to get together and consume a spirit or two).
 Moderator: Jervey Tervalon

I’m excited to meet these other writers and do some networking.  There’s also quite a bit to feast on that day, so I will have to plan my schedule accordingly and not overdo it.

My MFA thesis unfortunately did not advance to the next round of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards, but three of my friends and their books did: Cindy Brown, Eirik Gumeny, and Paul Lamb.  Congrats to them!  My fingers are crossed.

Only one rejection to note from Washington Square.

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An acceptance from Used Furniture Review!

Posted on February 21, 2012 by swneyes

I am happy to report that a short short of mine (“No One Left”) has been accepted for publication at Used Furniture Review.  I follow their website on and off and have never been displeased.  I especially like their interview section.

Other news– my article in ABQ the Mag won’t be running until March, and my stint at the 2012 Pasadena Litfest is shaping up.  I found out that I will be on a panel with Susan Straight!  I am nervous and humbled. I saw her present several, several years ago, and never in a million years thought I’d be rubbing shoulders with her…

No other rejections to note.  Though my productivity has declined somewhat again.  It really is a constant flow problem/issue isn’t it?  We ended up staying in town over the long weekend because my son got very ill.  He is better now, but today I had a migraine– my first ever!  Complete with blurry, distorted vision, nausea, and a seriously bad headache for two hours straight.  I have emerged, but without much to show for it.  I wrote a little bit this morning… it’s like in my son’s fables, slow and steady wins the race…

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The Long Weekend

Posted on February 16, 2012 by swneyes

I will be leaving for Kansas over the long weekend, and most likely, I will not get anything done.  I’ll bring a notebook though and plenty more books to read.

My energy level has plummeted.  I am trying to be one of those people who listens to her body, so I have been taking that as a sign that I need to slow it down.  As it is, I work about five hours a day on writing-related stuff (not counting the other “work” that I do).  I am slowly cutting back until my energy recuperates.  I am still steadily writing about 1,000 words a day on my novel.  I am making good progress on that.

Nothing else new to report.  Two not really great generic rejections from Agni and Fourteen Hills. At what point do you stop submitting to the same journal?  At what point do you tell yourself that it just isn’t a good fit, and you need to move on?  Any thoughts?

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Back from Paradise

Posted on February 13, 2012 by swneyes

I am back from Kauai!  What a restful week or so it was.  I swam in the ocean, ate tons of seafood, rested by the pool, and let my son throw sand in my face.  My husband and I played Scrabble, watched movies, and had fruity drinks on our ocean-view patio while my son napped.  A fabulous trip.  I didn’t do a bit of writing, which in and of itself wasn’t the greatest.  In my defense, I did bring a notebook.  But I decided to give my brain a little rest.  I did do as much reading as my son would allow.  I finished The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and started on a lighter book by Elin Hildebrand.  I know Diaz’s book won the Pulitzer, and I could definitely see why it won, but I didn’t enjoy the book as much as I thought I would.  I was blown away by his short stories (Drown), but this book (aside from its scintillating voice) felt a little too cute.  I’d be happy to discuss further if you disagree, which I’m sure most of the world does.

I still have a ton of books sitting on my bookshelf to read, including books by friends, books for pleasure, and books for work.  There is never enough time to read!

I am happy to report that though I did receive rejections (see below), I received an acceptance as well from New Plains Review! Yay!  It is for a story titled, “Wanda’s Big Adventure.”  I am excited about this story and this publication.

I also received generic but try again rejections from Slice, Diagram and Fourteen Hills.

Also I found out that my novel, After the Tsunami, will be reviewed by NewPages.com.  I am a little nervous.  I am unsure whether it will be a positive review or a negative one.  And my article is out in Abq the Mag.  I will have to pick up a copy and check it out.

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A plastic bucket.

Posted on February 2, 2012 by swneyes

I am very proud of a bucket that I fashioned for my son out of an old yogurt container and some ribbon.  He wants a bucket with which to build sand castles.  So I thought I’d save the money and the environment by constructing one myself.  We are planning for a trip to Kauai in the near future (a celebratory trip for the success of my book, which in no way has to do with money, of which I’m in the negative), and I want him to have a solid bucket with which to build giant fortresses.  He was born near a beach in California but as an older child has not been back.  I am excited to take him, and excited to go… it’s been a long trip coming, with lots of planning to ensure a cost-effective journey.  I would upload a picture of the aforementioned bucket, but I guarantee it would not flatter the eyes.

In other news– I have begun working with Aqueous on the cover art for my book of short stories.  The publisher has come up with some excellent ideas.  SFA didn’t seem to care or spend much time on my cover for After the Tsunami.  I think a cover is important in selling books and in soothing the writer’s ego.

I have read through the latest issue of Indiana Review (Winter 2011).  This issue did not impress me as much as the last one.  The two fiction pieces that stood out to me were “Gunplay” by Adam Schuitema and “Creeper” by Briandaniel Oglesby.  Both used a backdrop of something inanimate in order to bring animation (emotion) to the foreground.  I tend to appreciate subtlety in fiction (and here I could name off a bunch of authors who do this, but I won’t because I am sure you know them all).  Adam has a book of stories out that I will have to check out in the near future, and Briandaniel studied with Susan Straight.  LOVE HER!  I also appreciated the essay, “Beneath the Surface,” by Amy Butcher.

Okay onto the rejections: good ones from Slice Magazine, Hayden’s Ferry Review, Missouri Review, and Used Furniture Review.  None were personal, but they all wanted me to submit again.  Do you see these names cropping up, time and time again?  I wonder if these editors are sick of me and my writing… like, girl how many more do you have?!  It gives me a chuckle, but persistence is my middle name.  Sometimes it creates a weird sort of dissonance in the pit of my stomach when I think about how I’m publishing books but I can’t seem to publish a lot of stories.  Hmm. Okay, Aloha!

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Yay! An acceptance!

Posted on January 28, 2012 by swneyes

After (I’m guessing) over 50 rejections, I have finally received an acceptance!!  Puerto del Sol accepted my story titled, “The Flight of Wings.”  (I was ecstatic when I saw the acceptance rate of this journal on Duotrope is 1.08%.)  This is the story that made it to the final round at Missouri Review, as well as received positive comments and feedback from Hayden’s Ferry Review.  I feel I owe some gratitude to the feedback I got from them because I revised my story again after their rejection, and that final piece was what was accepted by Puerto del Sol. I really appreciate the time some editors take in letting you know why a piece is rejected, ultimately.  I also give thanks to my husband and fellow writer, Janet Freeman, who both raised several questions about the piece which ultimately led me to a better version.  I am happy!

I also want to mention to those who write works about India to submit to Out of Print.  They are a fabulous online journal “for writers of short fiction with a connection to the subcontinent.”  The editor-in-chief Indira Chandrasekhar has a story in the current issue, which is definitely worth a read.

I am to my month-end political due diligence.  Though I don’t mention much of it on my blog, I am a big letter writer.  When I see a problem, I immediately need to send a letter.  I find that is pretty effective.  So this month I am sending letters to Target about their reusable bag policy (which as far as I’m concerned is not a way to conserve the environment, but a ploy to get you to buy THEIR reusable bags), and Silk, the makers of soymilk, for their gimmicky advertising.  You know I go straight to the source.  I address the letters to the chairmans and CEOs.  Most of the time I get a phone call if I include a number.  It really does work, and I feel I am active in the cog.  If I don’t get a response from Target, I will start a petition to get them to alter their policy (long story, of which I will not bore you unless it goes nowhere).

I entered my MFA thesis into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.  At first I was going to enter my current novel, Amit’s Ability, which is in no way done.  But then I thought–heck, let’s try something.  I’ll enter my thesis, The Goju Story, which at the time of completion seven years ago I thought was “done,” and see how far it gets.  It’s an experiment, and at least I won’t be heart-broken if it doesn’t advance very far.  I don’t imagine it will.  Some of the writing is very juvenile.

I have also been following up on review copies of After the Tsunami that I’ve sent to online journals.  I’ve gotten some responses that they just haven’t gotten to it, but mostly I’ve gotten no responses (which I’m guessing means they did not want to review it).  I wish they would at least respond.  I mean, I’m not a millionaire.  It costs money and time to send those copies out.  My friend Eirik, who is also a writer, told me this would happen (based on his experiences with his novel), but I didn’t want to believe it!  I wanted to have faith… sadly, I still have faith, but at least I can be real about it.

This must be the blog post of links galore!!

And onto the last part of my entry: rejections.  Generic ones from upstreet, Brevity (my last essay had made it to the final round. I thought this one was better, but I guess not!), and McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern.  But these don’t bother me because I have an acceptance!!!  Yayayayayayyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

 

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It’s the second week of…

Posted on January 23, 2012 by swneyes

getting up at 5:30AM to get some writing done.  So far, so good.  I am generally tired by the time 4:00PM rolls around, which is not so great, but I get a nice pop of work done in the morning.  It’s not a whole lot of time.  On the days I do yoga, I get only an hour.  Then if my son happens to get up early, I get less time too.  I try to make the most of it, and I only focus on writing–not responding to emails, reading, or anything like that.  Just writing.  And I’m happy to say that I am finally getting back to work on my third novel, Amit’s Ability.  It has been too, too long, and I have missed my characters.  AND I do really get a kick out of watching the school kids on their way to class.  The things they do like check their reflections in the side mirrors on parked trucks or ogle at the girls… provide sweet amusement.

In other news, I received a good rejection from Slice, and a personalized rejection from Annalemma. I submitted to their issue of “India,” and still did not make the cut.  I really like their journal, and I like the writing in it, but I think I’ve come to the point where I am no longer going to submit to them.  Our aesthetics just do not match, and sometimes that happens.  I will be sad for a little while, but I will get over it.

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Basquiat, Living

Posted on January 19, 2012 by swneyes

I finished the first draft of my new story (Working Title is now Basquiat, Living) yesterday.  It took me about two weeks and is roughly 10,000 words long.  The longest story I’ve ever written to date.  I’m really proud of it, and it is now printed and waiting for my husband’s critical eye.

Several years ago when I lived in LA, my husband (who at the time was just some guy I was casually dating, haha), another friend, and I attended a Jean-Michel Basquiat exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art.  I hadn’t thought about his artwork in years, but his paintings have always stayed with me.  You can read more about him here. In particular I was taken with how he elevated faux-graffiti as an art form and combined that with an almost “vandalization” of the human body (and the implications) as well as his decline and death by drugs at such an early age.  My husband doesn’t remember this art exhibit.  Poo poo on him.  Anyway, as I was working this story, his name crept into my subconscious and made its way into it, and then I realized I was writing something that thematically is best represented by his art. So.  Needless to say I am excited about it, and I hope I can finish it completely in the next few months and send it out into the world.

Rejections to date: A good but generic one from North American Review.  They held onto my essay for a record seven months, which would be fine if they accepted simultaneous submissions.  I don’t know how journals can expect that if their turnaround time is so long.

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Contests, Interviews, Rejections, Oh My!

Posted on January 16, 2012 by swneyes

I need to mention that Grey Sparrow Press is holding their very first flash fiction contest.  Entry fee is only $5.00.  You can submit here. I will be helping to judge and am honored to participate.  Help support a small, upcoming, freshly brilliant press.

I had my interview with Albuquerque the Magazine last week.  It went really well.  I was impressed by the intern, Brandon Call, who interviewed me.  Brandon asked me some very detailed questions and said that he rarely reads through books that they receive at the magazine because of lack of time, but that he was so taken with how cleanly written the book is and the interesting subject matter that he read a large part of it (I know that sentence was not clean).  Besides the Albuquerque Journal, it is definitely up there in terms of potentially large media coverage and professionalism.  I even had pictures of me taken by a professional photographer.  Sales of my novel have slumped, so I am hoping this will invigorate the decline.  They will be having a launch party next month, which I will be invited to attend.  Maybe I will forge more connections.

Good but generic rejections from Camera Obscura, Mom Egg. Generic rejection from Electric Literature.

I have dramatically pulled away from Facebook and other avenues of self-promotion because of the lack of time.  Also because it’s frustrating.  It all feels like a popularity contest, and I was never popular in school nor will I ever be.  (Heck, I was even lowest of the low on the food chain at a writers’ conference a couple years ago–I can’t compete!)  Who can post the most flashy update?  How many people will like it?  It makes me angry how many “friends” remember my birthday because it’s listed on Facebook but cannot remember my son’s because it is not.  Is all of this making us more civilized?  I need to read Sherry Turkle’s book, which I’m sure I will agree with wholeheartedly.  I have also realized it’s a waste of time, of which I have precious little.  So I am pulling away from that and focusing more on the actual business of writing.

I am excited about a new story that I am working on–the longest to date (over 10,000 words).  Working title: Basquiat. It’s definitely more voice-driven than my usual stuff.  I also just finished Incendiary by Chris Cleave.  LOVED THIS BOOK.  I get a lot of questions about my penchant for writing male characters.  Cleave writes a female’s POV so beautifully…. the novel is fantastic.  I’ve been reading this book as I’ve been working on this story hoping the strong voice will carry over into my work.  I like how Cleave will throw in whoppers: little (but HUGE) sentences that make you stop and re-read.  Stuff that stays with you.  You’ll be happily reading, the writing is flowing, the words are just coming, and all of a sudden he fires a bullet into your chest and you have to stop and take a breath.  That’s good writing.

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